That lease seemed too good to be true

I need me some gansta' rap, tired of this French paperwork crap

Lookin' for a place to sleep and eat, ain't no easy feat

Ready to make this world my hoe, but seems like I need mo' than two passports and some dough.

Ridin' high on my first pay, damn today was a good day

Made bank, sittin' pretty, ain't gonna let a shady contract take me.

An incomplete

So, I have traveled to somewhere new. I have a lease to sign when I get back, soon to have a place to paint and call my own. And a job still waiting for me on Monday (that job from the butterflies. After two weeks, I took vacation, it was already planned, I'm not lazy and needed a break after two weeks. Things are complicated to explain when you're posting on the interwebs, trying to be vague but sounding like an incomplete thought, an incomplete sentence and thing).

Things are thought and looking up. I sometimes find myself thinking it can't be this easy. But I'm not dreaming, I'm living, and it is all real. Bizarre how things find themselves, how things fall where they should.

Butterflies

I start tomorrow
A new job
Fresh.
Nerves, Worries, and questions.

browsing google plus and found an old post of mine

not all too clever.
welcome to my introduction.
i'll dig the blues forever.
you might find me at the station
spinning with vinyl fever.
but the big picture? the final production?
i am simply me, as i can be me as only as i can me.

utter nonsense. there's an introduction.

posted 7th of July 2012

Watching the sun set behind mountains,

I almost saw beauty fall out the window, but I caught her before she rolled away.

I will never regret a mistake

Shit happens,
Things fuck up,
Life gets in the way of life,
Its how the story goes.
Or something like that.

Some decisions are wrong, but you can only know it once you've made it.
Some opportunities are golden, but most aren't.

Knowing you've got a crowd cheering you on,
you've got someone in your corner wiping the blood off your face,
you've got people who will beat up those people, no questions asked,
Knowing you've got all that and a bag of chips, it kinda makes anything possible.

And if you fall, you won't.
Your people have already picked you up,
dusted your cute new sweater off,
and are walking with you forward.

This happened.

That moment when you're alone, in the kitchen.
Home alone, with your music playing loud.
While dishing
(which is like doing the dishes, but not really, d-ish-ing)
*SPLASH*
Right down the front of your naked robe
(which is the robe you wear when dancing naked home alone. In case a housemate comes home. Of course.)
You look back, as if to really really make sure nobody was here to witness the moment you were safe enough to dish and splish water on yourself (because being naked in the kitchen clearly lacked the confidence of a imma-dance-naked-til-the-housemates-come-home kind of person.).

That moment; it just happened to you.

Some music videos you should check out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQVUiEWA1Pg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16dJPN6MOJg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zpBbrXLxP4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=q5x_YoweEg8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwK32IuseGM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtdWGGpvY1s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODyWKkDBb4U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FH-q0I1fJY

Linguistic loop

If I am reading a sentence about conditional sentence structures while reading a conditional, then am I what I read?

2013

a bluejay is builiding its nest in the bamboo by our door. spring is here. and it sings.

Lost and scared.

I need to work on self-doubt and getting lost, in my head and in actual reality.
But I guess you need to get lost sometimes
in order to find yourself,
find who you really are,
and who you want to be,
to learn if they are the same.

I'm nervous about that.
to be able to do as I please,
the responsibility of being free?
It's frightening.

Last night, I felt fate speak.

Music is my religion. The sound, it calms me and rejuvenates my mind's eye. The only thing that can bring me to peace, even at my worst.
This year, the cards aren't reading a pilgrimage in my summer. No festivals are seeming real.
I'm motivated to get my feet, eyes, ears, nose, and mind in another country. I'm taking this bizarre anger I've developed (against my boss and the work schedule), and I'm channeling it (I, guess.).

I don't like being bitter, mad, or spiteful. I think it ages people more than too much sun or fake sun or cigarettes.

I want nothing more than to be somewhere else, I need a change.
I'm tired of the same, the predictable, the boring.
The plates below my feet don't move fast enough.
My patience was thin, and is almost gone.
I need to
move,
breath,
break,
exhale,
live,
listen,
change,
chant,
believe in somewhere else.

A change in my global position, that's in my cards.

To the makeup industry

We are beautiful.
Why do we have to buy your paint?
It brings beauty pain.

She rattled my cage

i met her for a brief moment,
the kind at a party, a mascarade to be true.
in a cloud of hooka smoke, a picture was taken.
and then i woke the next morning,
unsure if it was a dream.
but it wasn't. it couldn't be.
i love her.

Some New Years Resolutions

to read more and facebook less, to eat less but cook more, and to listen to even more music.

in the spirit of the new year,
to start things a fresh, a new, a wash.
things clean and beautiful.
just a fresh breath to cleanse to soul.